Chapter 6: hostel fun, for u.... :D

Bloody hell.. how was that even possible? The girl was Divya, from SDMCET Dharwad. Someone from my place. What else would i have wanted at this time?

“Wow!! yes ma’am this is 402.... bang in.” I welcomed her with big smile too.

“U have lost weight like hell Appu.” Divya noticed.

Now that was something new, I had heard after a decade i guess. I smiled. “Yo! My mom would like that.” i told.

It was true. All my old dresses were not fitting me anymore. All the messages that came from college friends addressing me as “kung fu panda” had lost their meaning now... ;)

“Hope I lose some weight too in this hostel.” said Divya.

Now that was what I hated about all the slim girls in this world. She was hardly visible in front of old me. She was thin already! There was no weight left to be lost. I didn’t get the logic again. I didn’t argue. And then we started in Kannada and went on and on and on till Sam finally spat at both of us.

“Will u girls give it a break? I am here too.”

“Sam this is Divya, from my place. Department of civil engineering. And Divya this is Sam, CSE uttarakhand” I smiled again.

“Don’t u guys dare to speak in ur language. We ll speak in common language hindi.” Said Sam.

“No way... we shall speak in English!!!” Divya replied again smiling.

Now that was interesting for me. Problem with Sam was, she had difficulty in speaking in English, she would have done her computer science and engineering in Hindi itself if someone had allowed her. But even after 62 years since they left our nation, our country learns their language with so much dedication. No hard feelings against English. I love all the languages. That was just a thought. Anyway... No one had allowed Sam. So she did her Engineering in English. And Divya had problems with Hindi. She had heard Hindi only in her favourite serial Jhansi ki raani lakshmi bai.

Now that was fun for me. Naughty person in me wanted to know who wins. ;) I was waiting for Sam to reply.

She just said. “Ok”.

And all my dreams of witnessing a Hindi vs English match shattered.

Sam was so cool a person. Nothing affected her so easily. Her calmness made me wonder sometimes if she was an old disciple of Lord Buddha. She had once told me her boy friend was from Buddha Gaya. May be that connects. I don’t know.

“But I don’t know much of Hindi!! I can understand everything but can’t speak fluently.” Divya replied politely but sadly. “But I’ll give try.”

Wow. That was nice. Divya was a good girl too. Now they made nice people for roommates. I loved them. For the first time in a month, all three roommates of room no. 402 were talking to each other, about each other. N the fun began.

Divya was fascinated by Sam’s collection of perfumes, deos, creams, shampoo, I don’t know what! There were so many of them on the rack. And she tried her first sentence in Hindi.

“wow yar, tere pas to perfumes ka makan hai”

Makaan?? Sam looked at me for help. N me at Divya for help inturn.

What. “It’s like she has a shop of perfumes”.

“dukaaaaaan” Sam and I shouted back at her.

Well... that was no help! She ignored both of us n continued with her discussion on things on the rack.

“U use matrics? I have allergy for them. I use some “xyz” she said. I don’t remember the name. “Where is the beauty parlour here? I hope it’s nearby??”

“Ya its just on the road behind, next to brand factory.” Sam enlightened her.

“Thank god. Are u going in this week? If yes tell me I need to have a step cut. Look at my hair. Totally out of shape!!!”

Wow!!! I stopped both. “Will u two girls stop talking in ur language now.????”

Both of them started laughing.

“Aparna r u a girl???” Both started giggling for no reason.

“Shut up u both.” I was angry now.

Divya started telling Sam my legendary stories from the college days. when a boy as fat as old me had tried to propose me n I started fighting with him and the poor fellow ran for his life. And again they stated giggling.

“Huh” I said n opened some book.

Life was cool for next few days. I was doing well in classes too. I always reached late for the classes and hence never got to sit in front benches. I always sat on the last bench.

There was a boy who was somewhat like me in this case. We both were the last to reach the class. It was alright because I never wrote any notes. I always listened to lectures. I had a wonderful note maker called Rashmi for a friend. I Xeroxed her notes at the end of each day. In fact I xeroxed three people’s notes just in case a person missed something. I was particular about them. I wanted them neat and clean. The trade off was they gave me notes I solved their doubts. Both parties happy n satisfied.

I didn’t know wat that boy’s name was. But since we reached almost at same time every day we did smile to each other just before entering the class. One day he and his friend reached before me. They were sitting on the bench before mine. I was literally not able to see the board. I was doing all kinds of circus at my place to have a look at the board. A girl was sitting next to me. All we both could see were big heads of boys in front of us.

I had had enough. Girl next to me asked the other boy next to my late coming classmate just before the start of next class.

“Can we pls swap our benches? I can’t see anything except ur big head.”

The boy said. “Get up early from tomorrow.”

“Hello... that was harsh” I spoke spontaneously, that came involuntarily.

“U carry on with ur sleep girl.” He told me.

It was a surprise, a bad one! That meant people knew of my “dozing off” ability in the class. That was sad. But this was no time to feel bad. This was time to defend the girl next to me, to show the girl power.

Our discussion had caught the attention of few benches around us. Everyone was waiting for my reply.

I was not going to keep quiet either.

I shouted at the top of my voice-

“ek to itne abnormally lambe ho! Upar se aise baat karte ho... u r bad.”

There was silence all over. N when the loudness of my voice finally faded, there was response from our spectators.

Hell! A big wave of laughter broke out.

I looked around to see everyone smiling and making fun of me, even the boy whom I was fighting with smiled, I bet, in the corner of his lips.

It was badly embarrassing. I was fighting, he was laughing. I hated him.

He opened his mouth to argue, n the boy next to him, my late entry partner stopped him.

“Let’s move” he said smiling, n pushed him out of the bench.

“Ya u ppl can sit here. We shall swap.” He was good I thought, but other one was bad I concluded.

They both walked out. N the friend of my enemy smiled weirdly at me. I didn’t smile back. Got to hell both of u I told slowly.

When I told this story to Sam n Divya in the evening, back in room no. 402, they both were angry at them too.

“Boys r just show offs u see. All they want is fighting with people. Doesn’t he has the basic manners of speaking to a girl?” said my Sam.

I agreed.

“Aparna is a girl?” Divya started pulling my legs again.

“This is no joke Divya. All they want is to fight.” Sam said angrily.

This was going somewhere else, I realised. She was not talking about the boy who fought with me, or boys community out there, but her boy now. maybe she had had a fight with him. Er.. boyfriends girfrieds fight.. no big deal.. but ya.. Discussion now was defiantly not about the boy who fought with me.

Divya had realised that too. “hey u have a boyfriend?” she suddenly changed the topic.

Divya had an unimaginable talent of handling emotions. She knew exactly what to speak at what time. Something I lacked very badly.

“Yep” Sam smiled.

“I knew” said proudly smiling Divya, as though she had spotted something very uncommon. Anyone would have guessed that! Seeing the time Sam spent on phone. But Divya was still smiling at her discovery.

“wow!!!! How does he look??” Divya was curious.

“Hmmm.. he looks cool..” Sam smiled, rather blushed.

Ohh god!!! Did she really do that? Did she blush at the reference of his? I wondered. Love speaks... I said to myself smiling.. But didn’t dare to say it loud!!! coz i knew had I had made the fun of hers or love for that matter, both would have murdered me right there. And u wouldn’t have been reading this story now.

Sam started operating her phone. No points for guessing- she was searching for best pic of his.

But our Divya was too fast.

“show show show” she had grabbed the phone from her already.

Grabbing some one’s phone like that was bad I thought. But it was “ok”. Neither Sam felt bad about it. Just in few days we had become too close to each other. I was living with two cartoons. But two beautiful n good hearted n caring cartoons.

Divya came n sat beside me and started describing him. “Wow he looks awesome.”

I looked at his picture. Total villain he was. He was good looking but his unshaven face gave him total “tapori” look. Not his mistake, Divya had not let Sam choose a good pic of his.

She had shown me the pic and Sam was waiting for my reply now.

What was I to say? I didn’t know. I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“Wow total topori pose.. coooooool” even before thinking what I was going to say.

Sam stared back as though I had called him gabbar singh. It was over. Our friendship?

What I had said!!!!!! u idiot!!! I told to myself. I should have told something like” wow” “super” “brilliant” anything.. But not what I had said....

I started back at four eyes staring back at me in a full serious way.

“Sorry” I said watching the floor of the room, face saddened. Waiting for Sam to get angry on me....

chapter 7 coming up next!! :D

Chapter 5: the start of the fall

It was just 4.30 am, still dark. I was seeing her from the half open door of her room, in the dim light of the night lamp. Her roommates were still asleep.

I wanted to go near her. n tell her i cared for her. i wanted to wake her up n tell many things but i didn’t know wat. I just wanted her to be safe. I walked in slowly. She was fast asleep. u could tell from visible parts of her face, slightly covered by her beautiful hair, she had cried until she had fallen asleep. i covered the blanket over her. n there it was, the bottle, lying on her bed. Had her roommates seen it, there would have been a big issue. i dint know wat to do.

For the first time in life, i did two things that day.

One, “daru ka bottle” was in my hand, something i had never touched before. I quickly covered it with her bag. i don’t know why i still went to her even after what had happened few hours ago. It was a strange feeling of care for her.

i am the youngest person in my big family. Ppl always took care of me, listened to my problems, solved them, always saw to it that i was safe n happy. But for the first time i wanted to support someone, try to keep someone safe. It was not because she took care of me, neither because she had helped me. i had no explanation. I realised how i get emotionally attached in no time. May be it was because i never had a brother or sister for myself. N Rinu cared like a sister; I had completely got attached to her. She was bad. Very bad. I was not sure if i was going to even talk with her once she woke up. But still I was standing beside her. She was four years elder to me. But now she was fast asleep like a small kid. “Rinu” i called out. But the voice never came out of my own mouth.

Her roommates alarm rang n i moved out of her room in a swift. And suddenly i was confused again! and before i could even thwart the thought, i had decided never to talk to Rinu again. It was not my business. I was here to study n not solve a mad girls problem. She was 25 years old.. wat for if she cannot sort out things herself? I carried on.

It was a nightmare in class. I was just not able to concentrate. My head was heavier than ever before. It was irritating even to sit in class n listen to lecture. It was a computer network class. An important topic of subnetting n supernetting was going on.

“A question on this topic has come in almost every paper” Sir said. “Pls give ur best attention, else u won’t understand next two classes of mine. its very simple if u just understand it here.”

I tried to concentrate. It was just not possible. I dozed off for the first time in my favourite class. Shubhangi tried to wake me twice. I was really tired; Rinu had spoiled my sleep last night. I missed it all. 3 hours of important topic was gone.

It was 9 clock break. My class was on the 3^rd floor of academy, n my hostel on the fourth. But i didn’t want to return to hostel. i didn’t know how i would react when i would see Rinu. I had idli sambar at canteen in the first floor, n i was back to class. Next class didn’t work out for me either. Rinu’s words were popping up in my mind... “N i am goin to do it again. I am slut u see. A bloody whore i am according to jai. Such a fucker!....”

no rinu don’t..

i said to myself again.

I had no guts to go back to hostel after class either. I just didn’t want to face her,, rather see her face again. But I didn’t have books for the next class. I had to go now. My head was bursting out. I slowly walked to hostel hoping I wouldn’t have to confront her. But when i realised she was gone i wanted her back right away.

“She went” sam reported.

“Where? N with whom? What happened? When?” I wanted to know everything...

“I don’t know. I saw her making payments to warden. I don’t know when she packed. But i was coming back from class for a book n i saw her leaving. A guy was with her”. Replied sam

“But why? Did she say something about me? did she talk with u? or any msg for me at least where she is going?”

“Nothing”

“Relax” sam said again , “she is with someone. That means at least she is safe. Nothing of wat we were scared about will happen now, she won’t hurt herself at least”. She put her hand on my shoulders as she said it. N then on my forehead.

“Gosh u r burning man.”

It was true. I had lost conscious like a dead in the class, when i dozed off. I had slept throughout classes. It was all gone. On the other hand Rinu didn’t even feel like i deserved to know where she went. I was angry on her. She never cared about me I thought. I was hating her now. She didn’t deserve my friendship.

“U r not goin to class now.” It was sam’s voice. Listen i’ll ask them to send ur food here. I have a crocin, ll u take it after food?”

“No i have it with me. am fine. U get ready for ur class.”

“Listen we ll go to the doctor after class, but now u’ll take rest. I can’t bunk. Its OS class.”

“Hey thats ok. M fine. U carry on.”

Sam left the room. I was alone in the room now. It was like my own now. i thought i should take a nap. i was not able to even open my eyes because of the fever. I suddenly got up and did something without thinking. I checked all my books on the shelf for the note. I knew she would have left something, anything. There was nothing under mattress or pillow either. I finally realised she was gone. Where? I didn’t know.

“A guy was with her.” Who might that be? i wondered. Max?, jai? Or maybe someone from her family.? she was always around, “around me”, i never felt the need of her phone number. i didn’t have her phone number.... hell! i realised i knew nothing about her. i didn’t know about her family, nor her email id. Nothing at all? I thought i should go n check out in orkut or fb, but as Rinu wat? To my shock, I didn’t even know her full name. How was that possible.? It was just Rinu, only Rinu, my friend Rinu for me, who woke me up every morning. Who reminded me every time to study, to revise. She was not near me now. n i didn’t know where she was.

You shouldn’t have done this to me i told her as though she was right there. how selfish it was of me? I was worried about how i was going to live there without her while I should have been worrying about her safety. I needed her. But she was gone without even bothering about me. She was selfish too i convinced myself.

The fever lasted for 2 days. I didn’t tell this to mom. I missed two days classes. I checked out notes of my fellow cs friends but i could not understand anything from them. N when i returned to classes i could follow nothing. Things had changed for bad. I had followed every class until recently and now i was not able to understand many things. God why this? I was angry on just not Rinu but god too. How was I going to make up? Literally I had no time for present day revision. But i knew i would do it. I kept it for later.

My health was not much supporting me now. i was easily getting tired. I was getting fever frequently. Plus i had to wash all my clothes myself. Wash my plates too. Everything was getting difficult, specially getting up at 4.30 everyday. Shubhangi and suchitra constantly reminded me that i was not concentrating enough. One day suchitra woke me up in the class and asked a beautiful question- “how on the earth u have guts to doze off in class?”. I had no reply! In short nothing was going like before.

One evening ,Shikha was struggling with something in her hand. It was material that academy gave us to solve. Materials had extra problems to be worked out. It was OS booklet i recognised. She was angry on the poor booklet. She was constantly changing her position of studying, she was restless.

What is it shikha? I asked finally. OS was one of my favourite subjects right from colg days. i thought i could help her out.

To my surprise she got up from her bed with her book n sat beside me and pointed to problem in the open book. It was a problem on scheduling policy. I knew that topic well. I helped her with it. She was so happy when it got finally solved. I had seen her so happy first time. n immediately the feeling of guilt passed through me, i too should have been studying like her. But honestly i was not. This just was not going to work. I had to work some way out. I always slept late. Something or the other used to keep me awake. Ppl came with doubts, or i listened to music or any silly thing was enough to blow away my sleep these days. Just 4 hours of sleep was not enough. I had tried sleeping early to best of my abilities but it was just not working out.

It was like i was shackled from all sides. I had done it myself. This was not the scene in my engineering life. I was never seen in class until the attendance need reached bottleneck. So many times I was detained from labs coz things were always incomplete. Still I did well in the class. I somehow managed it at the end moment. Thanks to my capacity of dragging answers pages together. I had always not just survived but excelled in the exams. But here I had tried to be sincere. But i had failed utterly. And one whole and sole reason behind it was fear, the immense pressure that the ambiance created. Things were bugging me badly as I had no one to speak to. I had left two jobs. What if it didn’t work out? To add on there were ppl who worked day n night. One of many thousands of such was just on my opposite bed. This was not at all working. I realised i would not even qualify in GATE if i carried on like this. I needed a way out. N i finally decided that i shall be back to my old self. I decided i would never worry again. I remembered a line hagrid had said to harry potter in goblet of fire, viz “what has to happen will happen and u’ll have to face it when it does”. i never stopped myself since then from dozing off in class, but whenever i was up, I listened to my best. This way it was working, i at least knew what was going on. I revised whenever possible. I started opening text books n materials. Somehow the cart was being pulled, while other’s planes were flying high. About a month had passed now.

Shikha was good to me now that i was solving her doubts. The interlude of cold silence was finally over. one day she told me she was leaving the hostel. The rent of this hostel was too high because it was in the campus. So she had decided to move to a hostel at small distance from the academy.

“How wil u manage for morning classes?” i asked her.

“I’ll manage. Its fine now that we r acquainted with place. N there are many ppl in that hostel who come for morning batches. I’ll come with them.”

“So when r u leaving i asked?” Immediately adding “we ll miss u” just to keep the decency in communication. “hope another girl as silent as u occupies ur place!” I winked.

She replied with a nice smile that actually suited her face. “I am leaving day after tom. N u too take care of ur health.”

It was good so far before next question she asked.

“Can u help me with packing? I’ll start now”

“Sure” I said. I packed all heavy books for her. n that night again i slept late.

Shikha left the hostel next to next day. we promised each other to be in touch. sam n I were sitting in the room now.

“Lets hope for a nice roommate” sam began... a beautiful girl with a big bright smile on her face knocked the door.

“Is this 402?”

chapter 6 coming soon :)